pyrrhiccomedy:

“why do lesbians hate men” son almost all women hate men, lesbians just have nothing to lose by saying so.

kuttithevangu:

My favorite lifehack is I’m never too polite to take leftovers from any event. “Please take leftovers,” the hostess says, and everyone diffidently murmurs something about the size of their fridge, but I am already sweeping an entire basket of bagels into my tote bag. I gather there may be some unspoken rule of upperclass etiquette that stands in people’s way but listen. Break free of your chains

chauvinistsushi:

glumshoe:

Another shoutout to the demons and monsters that lived under your bed/in your closet and actually obeyed all the arbitrary rules you invented to keep yourself safe, like “if light is touching me at all I can’t be harmed” or “if I’m stepping on carpet I am untouchable” or “if I move my hand in a particular pattern while I walk, I’m off-limits during my voyage through the dark house to the bathroom”.

That was really considerate of them, especially given how biased in your favor those rules were.

children create their own magic

thesylverlining:

redeyemaniac:

By the “not all men” logic, Russian Roulette is a perfectly safe game to play. Sure, one of the chambers has a bullet in it…

but not all chambers

Best one I’ve seen. Best one.

kryptonians:

lordturkeyfist:

kryptonians:

lesbianbritneyspears:

perrisbueller:

lesbianbritneyspears:

when people are like “the hunger games just stole the plot of battle royale” like listen everything steals from the plot of everything the lion king is just furry hamlet westworld is jurassic park but sexier lost is edgy gilligan’s island there are no original stories and the only good piece of media is jennifer’s body

Michael crichton wrote westworld and jurassic park tho so he just pirated himself

michael crichton keeps TRYING to tell y’all about the evils of capitalism impeding on the progress of science when will y’all LISTEN

Maybe he just doesn’t like theme parks

michael crichton in line for a roller coaster at six flags: fuck this

If you’ve never felt the same way you’re lying